


Alignment

by Keiko Kirin (sakana17)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mirror Universe, but it's a partial character death, implied suicidal thoughts, post-episode 2.07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 15:54:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11672307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakana17/pseuds/Keiko%20Kirin
Summary: After their first intimate night together Magnus wakes to a strangely changed Alec, and soon discovers his world is turned upside down. Can he right his world, right Alec, and save their relationship before it's too late?





	Alignment

**Author's Note:**

> Many, many thanks to [Agnes Joseph](http://archiveofourown.org/users/alray/pseuds/Agnes%20Joseph) for the encouragement and expert beta-ing.

Magnus opened his eyes to an early morning’s glow and rippled his body in a lazy stretch, utterly content. He plucked the air, brought a blue silk robe to his shoulders and slid it on. Beside him Alec rolled onto his back in restless sleep.

Magnus pursed his lips and stroked Alec’s wildly mussed hair. Expert as he was, Magnus knew a single night of passion couldn’t completely erase a lifetime of repressed desire, but he’d expected Alec to be a little less tense. He’d certainly unwound deliciously the night before. Magnus couldn’t help smiling and closing his eyes, replaying the previous night’s delights.

Alec’s hand closing around his wrist jolted him from his reverie and he opened his eyes as Alec pulled him forward.

“Come here.” Alec’s voice was gruff from sleep, sharper than Magnus liked to hear. But before he could form a worry, Alec maneuvered Magnus on top of him and kissed him deeply. With a hint of a bite to Magnus’s lips. Well, well, perhaps he had unwound more than Magnus knew.

Alec slid his hands under Magnus’s robe, running them over his body, up from his thighs, over his ass and along his back, never breaking their kiss. His touch was demanding and assured -- and not at all what Magnus predicted. 

Something wasn’t right.

Magnus reluctantly lifted from the kiss, but Alec grabbed his upper arms and pulled him down again. “Not yet, warlock,” he growled, and his eyes were dark and stern.

Magnus summoned a bit more strength and broke free, rolling away to sit at the foot of the bed. “Alexander. What is going on?” He paused to catch his breath and regain his composure, his mind racing past all the obvious answers he didn’t want to hear.

Alec propped up on his elbows and smiled, looking so pleased and boyish that Magnus was reassured. Until Alec said, “Nothing’s going on. Just our usual morning fuck. So get back here, and take off that ridiculous robe.”

Magnus sat very still and stared at him, furrowing his brow. “’Usual’?” he repeated quietly.

Alec flopped back against the mattress with a loud impatient sigh. “What.Ever. You don’t want it, just tell me. Lost interest already? Ready to move on to seventeen thousand and two? I should’ve known.”

“Alexander!” Magnus was as shaken by the savage note in Alec’s voice as by his words. Something was genuinely wrong.

Alec shot him a disgusted look before getting out of bed, picking up his clothes from the floor. Magnus watched him and frowned. Alec turned his back as he pulled up his jeans, and Magnus quickly sketched a few lines in the air. Okay, not a demonic possession. That was sort of a relief.

Alec straightened and turned around, pulling his tee shirt over his head. Magnus noticed a new mark on his wonderfully sculpted abdomen. A mark, not a rune. 

He stood up and stepped close to Alec, reaching to touch the mark but stopping before his fingers touched Alec’s skin. “What is this?”

He expected Alec to tense, to swallow nervously as he considered lying before stumbling through the truth. Whatever that would be. However it would explain his behavior and this wrong, wrong morning after their right and lovely evening.

Alec yanked his shirt down and covered his abdomen. “As if you don’t know,” he sneered. “I knew I was just a toy to you, Magnus, but I didn’t think you’d play so cruelly. You want to drop me? Just fucking say so, and stop being so… so _downworlder_ about it.”

“Drop you?” Of all the things that were wrong this morning, that statement cut Magnus to his core and pressed a stone against his heart. Alec started to leave the bedroom and Magnus reached for him, brushing his fingers against Alec’s wrist. “Alexander. Please.” Magnus inwardly cringed to hear the pained begging in his own voice. “Please don’t leave like this. Something’s not right. We need to figure it out. Together.”

He braced for Alec to walk out, but Alec stopped and faced him and crossed his arms. “Something’s not right,” he repeated, sounding dubious. “Sure, fine. Figure it out.” His eyes were angry and cold. Magnus looked away and paced a few steps, thinking of what to say to get Alec to stay and talk to him.

He swirled around to face Alec when it came to him. “I seem to have lost some memories. Yes, that’s it. It must be a spell.”

The anger faded from Alec’s face, but he was still closed off. “How could that happen?” he asked suspiciously.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Magnus hedged. “Another warlock while my guard was down. I do have some… rivals.” He glanced away from Alec’s deepening suspicion. “Why don’t we sit down and talk it through? Retrace my steps. I can check my spell books, and I know I could use a drink.”

“That’s the first sensible thing you’ve said all morning,” Alec muttered, and Magnus took slight comfort in that. Until Alec marched out of the bedroom and went straight for the drinks tray, poured a healthy dose of whiskey into a tumbler and drank it down without so much as a wince.

Magnus watched him pour another as he followed him into the living room. Alec downed the second whiskey with less urgency but with a familiarity Magnus recognized all too well. Alec clutched the glass and slumped into a chair, his long legs stretched before him. Magnus approached cautiously and stopped abruptly when he reached the coffee table. There before him was the sofa: an ox blood red tufted leather sofa.

Magnus had not redecorated lately. This was not his sofa.

His eyes slid to Alec, peering into the empty tumbler, clearly considering pouring a third. This was not his Alec.

Magnus slowly sat down on the sofa. Another dimension. How it could have happened he had no idea. All explanations that came to mind were equally bad. But it was possible to travel to other dimensions, and it explained everything about this awful morning.

Alec set the empty glass aside and looked at him. “Well?” he prompted. There was no concern or worry in his eyes or in his voice, just impatience and a trace of annoyance. What dimension was this to make Alec so? What had happened here? 

Magnus gazed at him, wanting to take all his pain away, find his Alec in this one. But first he had to know what kind of world he was in and how he got here. 

“Right,” he said. “My memory loss. It’s quite odd. I don’t remember how long we’ve known each other. How long we’ve been together. Let’s start with that.”

Alec did not want to answer, that was very clear, but eventually he said, “We met when your lair was attacked. I saved you from a Forsaken.” He lowered his gaze to stare at something invisible on his knee. “We got together after… that.” He spoke as if each word were wrapped in wire and dragged from his throat.

“The attack,” said Magnus. “Yes, I remember now. And that mark on your stomach, how did you get that? It is no rune that I know of.”

Alec’s eyes flashed as he glared at him. “How can you ask me that?”

Magnus looked blank. “Because I honestly don’t know the answer.”

Alec breathed heavily and jumped up from the chair to pace to the far wall. He faced the bookcase and gripped a shelf, lowering his head. Magnus could see his knuckles go pale even from this distance. He longed to go to him, comfort him with soothing words and gentle touches, but he was in an unknown land now. Lost without a map.

“The mark is where Jace stabbed me,” Alec gritted out.

“Jace? Stabbed you?” Magnus couldn’t control his shock. That was the last thing he had expected to hear.

“When he and Clary took the Cup and I stopped them.” Alec’s voice had lost its hard edge. Now he sounded tired, drained, defeated.

If Alec and Jace were estranged in this dimension, that would account for a lot. Was Jace still a Shadowhunter, even? Was Clary? Magnus knew the Clave’s punishment for stealing the Mortal Cup was brutal, even if there was a very good reason.

“And Jace is…?” Magnus began cautiously.

Alec’s head sagged lower before he let go of the bookcase and turned around. His face was dark and tense with pain. “Magnus. Stop.”

Magnus had to swallow the apology. He had to know everything about this dimension to figure out why and how he was here. “I would not ask if I didn’t need to.”

Alec’s glare was icy and unwavering. “Jace is dead. Valentine killed him. I didn’t get there in time. I didn’t save him.”

“Oh, Alexander. Oh, no.” Now Magnus did get up and go to him. He couldn’t witness Alec suffering like this without doing whatever he could to ease the pain.

Alec shrugged him off and stalked to the front door. “That’s enough memories for today, warlock. Just. Leave me alone.”

Magnus stepped aside, his heart breaking for Alec. 

Alone and troubled, Magnus washed, dressed, and systematically scanned the lair for differences. Aside from the sofa and an exquisite inlaid chest being used as a drinks cabinet, the furniture was the same, arranged less precisely than Magnus would wish. The bookcase, however, held several unfamiliar volumes -- and lacked a few tomes Magnus would have liked to have consulted. He selected one of the unknown titles and took it and a good stiff drink to the balcony.

Several hours later, he was no more enlightened than before. Returning to his own dimension would be difficult and dangerous without knowing how he got here. The books offered no helpful advice or easy solutions. With deep reluctance Magnus decided to reach out to the Seelies, as crossing between dimensions was one of their specialties. He would have preferred to contact Meliorn but he didn’t know if Meliorn lived in this dimension -- and with Seelies one didn’t want to guess wrongly -- so he sent a fire message addressed to the Seelie Queen. That deserved a drink, so he dropped onto the ox blood sofa with a potent concoction and thought of Alec.

His Alec, the previous night, so eager and awkward and loving. What a gift he was, one Magnus treasured receiving even if he wasn’t sure he deserved it. 

This dimension’s Alec: wounded, perhaps broken inside, terribly angry and sad. And who was he, the Magnus here, who loved this Alec? Or was it love? Or just, as Alec had accused, a game?

Magnus took a long swallow of his drink. He almost knew this Magnus -- he had been very close to the surface not that long ago.

The air tingled near his fingertips and a fire message appeared: an oh-so-helpful reply from the Seelie Queen saying simply, “The park.” New York was a city of parks. Nevertheless, it was better than a refusal. Probably.

He dressed in a crisp black suit and overaccessorized with silver baubles, wanting to look the High Warlock part. Seelies liked such courtesies. Fortified by another stiff drink he began a methodical tour of the parks, starting with the most obvious and working his way down. Fortunately, he didn’t need to visit more than three before Meliorn met him, rising from a park bench. So Meliorn was alive in this dimension. Magnus found that strangely reassuring.

Meliorn narrowed his eyes. “You’ve changed.” He stepped back into the shade of a venerable maple tree.

“Haven’t we all at some point in our lives?” Magnus said breezily. “But you are correct. I am not the Magnus Bane of this dimension, and I would very much like to know how and why I’m here.”

Meliorn didn’t quite smile. “I wonder if the Magnus Bane of this dimension is asking the same questions.” 

“He’s been utterly dormant since my arrival,” said Magnus, “so I wouldn’t know.” 

“Dormant? Or absent?” Meliorn asked, watching him intently in a manner that uncomfortably reminded Magnus of a cat watching its prey.

“How could he be absent? Unless…” Magnus stared at him. “Are you saying that it’s possible to _switch_ between dimensions? I never knew it could be done.”

“Did you have a reason to know?” 

Magnus blinked. He hadn’t considered the possibility that _he_ (or a version of himself) had intentionally traveled between dimensions. If true, that could be an ugly prospect, if the other Magnus didn’t want to return to his own dimension.

“Absent Magnus notwithstanding, I wish to go home to my own dimension,” Magnus said firmly. “Can I create an interdimensional return portal if I didn’t create the arrival portal?”

“Can _you_?” Meliorn smiled briefly. 

“Can it be done?” Magnus pressed. Damn Seelies and their non-answers.

“It can,” Meliorn said after a pause. 

“What do I need to create it?”

Meliorn touched the tree and gave Magnus a long look. “In your situation it is not a question of creation as much as it is one of alignment. When things are aligned properly you may move between dimensions.”

Magnus furrowed his brow, trying to make sense of this information. “What things? And how will I know when they’re aligned properly?”

“You know the answer to that already,” Meliorn told him, and before Magnus could respond he stepped behind the tree and disappeared.

“The answer,” Magnus murmured, pacing around a park bench. He stopped abruptly. The answer had to be Alec.

He returned to his lair and decided to do more research. Before he saw Alec again, he needed to know more about this world from someone who wouldn’t (or couldn’t) deceive him about the Shadowhunters. He checked his phone -- it belonged to this dimension -- and saw that Simon Lewis was in his contacts list. Magnus doubted he would have Simon’s number in this dimension if this Simon weren’t also a vampire with Shadowhunter connections. He was an unusual choice, but if this Simon was anything like the other Simon, he would be truthful. The drawback was that he might not know as much as Magnus needed him to know.

When the sun set in slow waves of pink gold, Magnus called.

“Magnus?” The combination of surprise and dread in Simon’s voice wasn’t encouraging.

“Yes. I need to talk to you. Can you come over? It’s important,” Magnus added, sounding suitably portentous.

“Uh, now? Tonight?” 

“Yes.”

There was a long pause before Simon said, “Okay. I’ll be right over.” The dear boy did a passable job of disguising his begrudging tone.

By the time he arrived Magnus had changed into a more comfortable loose silk shirt and was sipping his second martini. He gestured Simon to enter and looked him over. This Simon dressed a bit better but had the same _I-never-asked-for-this-can-I-please-be-a-Mundane-again_ air about him.

“Martini?” Magnus offered. “Or something… stronger?”

“I’m good.” Simon stood stiffly in the center of the room.

“Do sit down. I insist.” Magnus slid into the chair and nodded at the sofa. Simon sank onto it and looked nervous.

“This isn’t about Camille, is it?”

Camille. Oh, Magnus would love to know all about the Camille in this dimension, but if he went down that path… 

“No. Simon, I’m hoping you can help me.” 

Simon’s adam’s apple bobbed. “Okay. Help you. I can do that. I think. As long it’s not--” He gestured erratically. “Don’t get me wrong. That night when you… when I… when we… Um. It was great and all. Very, um, eye opening. Errr, uh…” Simon trailed off and frowned. “Help you how?”

Simon’s babbling had already helped, confirming Magnus’s worst suspicions about the Magnus of this dimension living up to (or down to) his Lothario reputation. He wondered vaguely if the other Magnus had genuinely been attracted to Simon, who was cute in a puppyish way, or had simply been bored and wanted a toy. He decided he was better off not knowing. 

“I need to know what’s going on with Alec. With the Institute. With the Shadowhunters, generally.”

Simon blinked at him and stared. “Uh…?”

Magnus took a generous sip. “Cards on the table. I am not the Magnus Bane of this dimension. Somehow I traveled here and I need to go back to my own dimension.”

Simon relaxed slightly and smiled. “Oh, like when Clary went to the other dimension and you had the spell book. And cats. And wore a sweater.” He tilted his head. “You don’t look like the sweater type, to be honest.”

“That was _another_ other dimension. There are many of them. That one was very different, I gather. This one is almost the same as mine. Except for some crucial differences.” He gazed at Simon over his martini glass.

Simon sat up straight, wincing a little. “I take it that in your dimension we didn’t…”

“No,” Magnus said gently. “We did not.”

Interestingly, Simon looked disappointed. “But how can I help you? I’m not a Shadowhunter. Hey,” he said, brightening. “Am I a Shadowhunter in your dimension?” He mimed some sword thrusts in the air.

“No. You’re a vampire in my dimension, as you are here. As I said, our dimensions are remarkably similar in most ways.”

Simon was disappointed again. He leaned back against the sofa and gave Magnus a curious look. “Yeah, I can see it. You are different than the Magnus Bane I know.”

Magnus hated to ask, but this could be useful information for getting home. “How so?”

“Well, for one thing, the Magnus I know wouldn’t even be home at this hour. You’d be -- I mean, he’d be out partying and glamouring Mundanes before going to the club for the night. You seem, I don’t know, calmer?” Simon paused. “Sadder? No, that’s not the right word. Nicer.”

Magnus stared into his martini for a moment. Calmer. Sadder. Nicer. Oh yes, he was sure he knew what kind of Magnus lived here.

“Simon,” he said, marshaling his thoughts to the task at hand. “I think I traveled here because of the Shadowhunters. Because of Alec. What can you tell me about what’s going on at the Institute? I know that Jace is dead in this dimension. Anything else you can tell me, anything at all, it may help.”

“Where to start?” Simon muttered, puffing out his cheeks. “Okay, if you know about Jace, you must know that Alec killed Valentine, and the Mortal Cup is lost, no one can find it… Oh. You didn’t know.”

A tad too late, Magnus glamoured his facial expression to one of neutral interest. “Go on.”

“That’s about it, I think?” Simon shrugged. “Since then it’s just been Shadowhunters clearing out what’s left of Valentine’s experiments and the Circle. And there’s been a bunch of higher demon attacks. The other you thinks they’re after the Cup.”

Magnus agreed with his other self. “What about Clary?” he asked. If Clary were dead, he was sure Simon wouldn’t be so… so Simonesque.

Simon’s eyes dropped and he started picking at a button on the sofa. “She’s fine. I guess. You know. Busy killing demons and stuff.”

“She’s fine, but you’re not,” Magnus observed quietly. 

Simon looked up, his expression one of painful sadness and resignation. “She’s not the Clary I grew up with. Not the Clary I knew. After we lost Jocelyn… and Jace.” He shook his head. “She’s a different person now.”

Like Alec, Magnus thought. He didn’t know if healing the Alec in this dimension was even possible, but he had to do something. The idea of being trapped here chilled him to the core.

“I understand. Thank you, Simon. You have been helpful.” He rose to escort Simon to the door.

“I have?” Simon asked eagerly, standing up. Puppyish charm, Magnus thought with a smile. 

The door opened before Magnus turned around and Alec strode in as if it were his penthouse, not Magnus’s. “What’s the vamp doing here?” he said, shooting Simon a look of disgust.

Simon edged behind Magnus for protection. Magnus wondered if he would have done that with the other Magnus.

“I asked him here,” Magnus replied, standing straight and catching Alec’s gaze. Alec stopped and glared at him.

“You little… I can’t believe it. Going back to _that_ well again? Seriously? _That_?”

With Alec focused on Magnus, Simon seized the opportunity to scoot by and escape from the apartment, his vampire speed serving him well. Magnus rolled his wrist and the door shut behind him. He met Alec’s look squarely, then paced away from him.

“My memory loss. Simon was helping me fill in a few blanks.”

“Oh, I bet he was.” Alec took two quick long strides and captured Magnus’s wrist. He yanked hard and spun Magnus toward him until their bodies were pressed together. Under different circumstances, had this been his Alec, Magnus would have reveled in his certainty of touch. But here, now, Magnus stood very still. Not struggling but not yielding.

“Why?” Alec demanded. “Why do you do this to me? Why won’t you just tell me?”

His grip did not relax, and the look of angry pain in his eyes was almost too much for Magnus to bear.

“Tell you what?”

“That I’m not enough for you. That I’m not… Not good enough for you.” Alec’s voice lowered to a whisper, and the anger left his eyes, leaving only pain.

Magnus took a steadying breath. “I could never tell you that, Alexander.”

Alec let go. “Yeah. Right. I get it.” He walked to the bedroom, throwing off his jacket. Magnus followed slowly and by the time he entered the room Alec was spread out on the bed, naked. Magnus stopped by the door and watched him.

“What do you mean, ‘I get it’?”

Alec was closed off again, like this morning. “You’re a warlock,” he said coldly. “You can’t be honest. It’s not in your nature. I shouldn’t have asked you anything. It won’t happen again. Now come to bed and we’ll fuck and forget all about it.”

Magnus wanted to open up a portal, find the Magnus from this dimension and kick his ass. How could even the worst version of himself be so cruel to this strong beautiful wounded young man?

“You’re right,” Magnus said quietly. “I have not been honest. I will be now.” He sat on the foot of the bed. Alec sat up and eyed him warily.

“Do you remember when Clary went to another dimension and followed Valentine?”

Alec frowned. “Yes. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Other dimensions, Alexander.” Magnus looked into his eyes. “There are many other dimensions. And today I woke up in one. This one.”

Alec grimaced. “What kind of idiotic joke are you trying to make?”

“It’s no joke. I’m not the Magnus Bane from this dimension. I am not the Magnus you know. The one you have been with. The one who has been treating you so very, very cruelly.”

Alec didn’t believe him. Magnus continued before Alec could speak. “I told you this morning it was a memory loss. That was a lie, and I am truly sorry. I should never lie to you. I should never hurt you. The Magnus who lives here has, and that is devastating to me. It is he who does not deserve you, who is not good enough for you.”

Alec frowned and looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. “A different dimension.”

“Yes.”

Alec quickly glanced away and took a deep breath. “That explains… a lot, actually.” He shook his head, then suddenly tensed, sprung from the bed, grabbed his jeans from the floor and yanked them on. 

“Oh my god, in your dimension are we--?”

Magnus smiled softly at him. “Yes, Alexander. We are.”

Alec relaxed and picked up his shirt. He frowned and wound it between his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me this morning? Wait. This morning.” His hands tightened into fists around the shirt. “And you say the Magnus here is cruel. You asked me about Jace!”

Magnus’s smile evaporated and he nodded heavily. “I’m sorry. It took me a while to figure out what had happened. And when I knew what, I didn’t know why. I still don’t. Not entirely. But I am certain it has to do with you. And I needed to know why you’re hurting so much. I’m sorry my questions added to that pain.”

Alec pulled his shirt on and sat down on the bed beside him. “You think you’re here because of me?”

“At the moment, I may be biased and think everything has to do with you,” Magnus admitted. “But given the circumstances of my transportation into this dimension, it seems a reasonable assumption.”

Alec leaned back and looked him over. “You were in bed with me when you transported,” he guessed.

“Yes.”

Alec watched him for a long moment before glancing away. “I guess it’s different where you’re from.”

“Yes.” Magnus hesitated, then laid his hand over Alec’s lightly, barely touching. Alec accepted it for a moment before pulling away from the touch and clasping his hands between his knees.

“Then we should get you home.” Alec stated this as if declaring a new Shadowhunter mission. “What can I do?”

There it was: a glimpse of the Alec he knew, his Alec. Magnus hoped he wasn’t just deceiving himself, seeing what he wanted to see.

“There are things I need to know about this dimension, about you, but I don’t wish to cause you more pain by asking.”

Alec glanced at him and nodded once. “It’s all right. Now that I know… That I know it’s not just you playing games, it’s okay. I can take it. Ask what you want.”

Magnus drummed his fingers on his knee and scowled. “I desperately want to go home, but I have to admit, Alexander, I am not happy about leaving you with the Magnus who belongs here.”

Alec shrugged and said mildly, “Maybe in every dimension Alec gets the Magnus he deserves.”

“No,” Magnus said firmly. “You do not deserve someone who treats you the way I apparently do here. Do not think this, do not believe this. Why?” he asked gently. “Why would you think this?”

“I killed Valentine before we could find the Cup.” Alec shrugged again, but his body was tight with tension.

“In my dimension there is a long line of Shadowhunters and Downworlders who would have done the same thing. Especially if events had happened in the same way. You can’t carry that burden by yourself, as if you are the only person in the world who would have done it.”

Alec flicked a glance at him, considering. When he protested, “But I trained my whole life to be the best and not let emotions get in the way,” there was doubt in his voice.

Magnus resisted rolling his eyes. “Clave brainwashing. Just as ineffective here as in my dimension. As if their own emotions hadn’t nearly destroyed them all in past. Next.”

Alec smiled briefly at that, and Magnus’s hope glimmered. This Alec he recognized.

Then Alec said, “I loved Jace. Beyond being my parabatai. It clouded my judgment and got him killed. I was so jealous every time he went off with Clary, trusting her over me.”

“Valentine killed Jace. That was not your fault.”

Alec leapt up from the bed and paced from side to side, as if in a cage. “But I could’ve saved him! If I’d just… just gotten there five minutes earlier. Five minutes, Magnus. Why couldn’t I get there in time?”

All Magnus could say was, “I am so sorry.”

Alec paced a few more times before stopping in front of Magnus. “That’s how we started, you and I. You’d caught my attention earlier, and made it clear the attraction was mutual, but it really started after Jace. I came here to escape from the Institute for a while, got drunk, and went out to the ledge.” Alec looked into the distance as if he could see the ledge from here.

Magnus, visualizing it, felt a chill under his skin. Dimly, in his memories, he heard the rush of the Thames far below. He watched Alec closely, not wanting to hear the rest but knowing he needed to.

“It was going to be so easy,” Alec continued. “Drinking hadn’t made the pain go away, but this would. Just let go, finally, and be free.” 

There was a long silence. Alec came back to the bed and sat down, but didn’t meet Magnus’s eyes. “You stopped me. Saved me.”

“But I couldn’t make the pain go away, could I?” Magnus asked, unable to hide the sorrow in his voice.

“No,” Alec said with gentle honesty. He looked at him with the barest hint of a smile. “But you showed me how to embrace it, how to drown in it until I became numb and wouldn’t care anymore.”

Magnus winced. “That is not a lesson I would want to teach anyone, least of all you. Living with pain is just another way of saying ‘living’. Being numb and not caring is not living. Believe me, I know.”

“Yeah, I always thought you did.” Alec watched him for a long moment. “So what do we do now?”

“To get me home? I’m not sure. To help you?” Magnus looked into his eyes. “You have to promise me not to accept how I treat you. You have to be open and honest, even when I do everything not to hear it. And you have to leave me if I don’t change my ways, if I’m still cruel to you. You are worth so much more than I give you. You deserve love and compassion and understanding.”

Alec was utterly still, utterly silent, so many unasked questions in his eyes. Finally he said, “In your dimension I have you.”

Magnus controlled the tears threatening to escape. “Yes.” He mastered the tremor in his voice. “Do you promise?”

“I promise. I give you my word.”

“Good. And I can only hope that you will reform me, if it’s not too late.” Magnus sighed, not all that hopeful. Though if anyone could do it, it was Alec.

“Magnus. Can I stay here tonight?” Alec looked wistful and shy. “Just to sleep. I’d just… like to stay with you a while.”

Magnus smiled. “Of course.” 

Alec lay back, fully clothed. Magnus hesitated then lay beside him, also fully clothed. He waited until Alec was asleep before magicking them both into some very respectable and comfortable pajamas. He decided Alec looked faintly ridiculous in the pajama top and swapped it out for an old tee shirt instead. Alec rolled onto his side and curled up against him. Magnus worried about what he would do if he were still trapped in this dimension tomorrow -- maybe he would need to help Clary and Simon as well, good grief, when had he become the High Yenta of Brooklyn? -- before at last he succumbed to sleep.

\---

Magnus opened his eyes to an early morning’s glow and rippled his body in a lazy stretch, then froze and cautiously looked around. Beside him Alec stirred and rolled onto his back, squinting his eyes open. He stretched, causing the sheet to slip from his bare chest, and smiled at Magnus. 

“Hello,” he said.

Magnus, not yet daring to believe everything was right again, tentatively smiled back. “Good morning.”

“Mmm-hmmm,” Alec agreed, touching Magnus’s cheek and drawing him to a soft slow kiss.

Magnus knew. His lips knew, his skin knew, his heart knew. But his head -- his head had to be certain.

“Hold that thought. Please,” he murmured, getting out of bed. “Just for one second.”

Alec looked puzzled. “Okay.” He writhed and stretched again, spreading his long limbs across the bed in a delightfully relaxed way.

Magnus hurried to the living room. Right sofa. No inlaid chest drinks cabinet. Oh, thank goodness. He hurried back and slid into bed beside Alec.

“Did you sleep well, Alexander?”

“I did, actually.” Alec took his hand and wove their fingers together. “I, um. I’m glad. That we did. Are you?” His brow knit, like he was afraid of Magnus’s answer.

“Oh, I’m very glad.” Magnus smiled at Alec’s relieved grin.

“Very glad? Really?”

“Mmm-hmmm.”

Alec held his hand and rocked it back and forth, smiling in deep satisfaction. Magnus pressed close, thinking.

This was the morning he had expected. How had he spent a day in the other dimension without losing a day here? Surely if the other Magnus -- and he shuddered to imagine the other Magnus with his Alec -- had spent a day here, Alec would not be so trusting and open and relaxed.

“What’s wrong? What are you thinking of?” Alec felt Magnus’s tension.

“Nothing is wrong.” Magnus kissed his brow and looked into Alec’s eyes. “You’re you, you’re here, and I am very happy about that.”

Alec grinned in disbelief. “I’m me and I’m here? That’s your morning-after speech? I expected something smoother from the great Magnus Bane.”

“Smooth is not as good as the truth,” Magnus said seriously. “Remember that.”

“Duly noted.” Alec kissed him again before climbing out of bed.

While Alec showered, Magnus wondered about the other dimension. If time hadn’t passed there, if, somehow it had been reset, then his advice to the other Alec would have been for nothing. The idea of the other Alec -- of _any_ Alec -- living numbly to escape the pain and accepting cruelty as his due was horrendous.

But if nothing had changed there, how did he wake up here, where he belonged? Meliorn said he would move between dimensions when things were aligned properly. Unless… 

Unless the other Magnus had simply portaled back, resetting the day, and nothing Magnus had done or said in the other dimension made any difference.

Magnus fixed himself an extra strong mimosa and went out on the balcony. He leaned on the ledge and watched the morning below. It was never an easy lesson, learning what one could and could not control. It was even harder to accept when an Alec’s happiness was in doubt. But it made him appreciate what he had with this Alec even more, if that were possible.

Alec stepped out on the balcony. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

Magnus smiled at him. “I’m quite sure.”

Alec returned his smile and gave him a quick kiss. “I have to go. But maybe later, if you’re not busy… If I’m not busy… Maybe we could…”

“We can and shall,” Magnus said meaningfully, and Alec grinned. 

Yes, Magnus thought, seeing him to the door and enjoying his lingering good-bye kiss, the love he had here was something to treasure and protect and never take for granted. He would make this work, come what may.

\---

Epilogue

Magnus blinked his eyes open to an early morning’s glow, sat up in bed, and looked around. Beside him Alec sprawled, snoring softly.

Damn. It hadn’t worked.

Magnus plucked the air and produced a blue silk robe and wrapped himself in it before extending his right arm and staring at the large elaborate ancient ring on his index finger. It glowed faintly, suggesting that the stone trapped beneath the labyrinthine setting was still active. Why hadn’t it worked? 

Alec shifted, causing the sheet to slip lower. Magnus glanced at him, expecting to see him in the midst of another restless nightmare. Alec didn’t have a scar from Jace’s sword. He was sleeping peacefully -- blissfully, one might even say. Magnus took another look around. Perhaps it had worked after all.

He got out of bed carefully and checked the rest of the apartment. There were several differences, the most telling of which was the spare bedroom reeking of Jace. He was not currently present, but there were clothes and possessions and a messy bed proclaiming loudly that he was still alive and, for some reason, living with Magnus.

Magnus shuddered, closing the spare room door. It was one thing to invite a Shadowhunter into his bed, quite another to invite one into his spare bedroom. And that it was Jace, of all people… He could only suppose it was something to do with Alec. Perhaps some bizarre parabatai thing. Not important.

The ring had worked and he was in another dimension. It was a bit too similar to his own dimension than he wished, but he didn’t want to attempt another transference; he would need whatever energy was left in the stone to get home.

He would need to work quickly, he thought as he unclasped the shimmery chain around his neck. He held it up and looked at the heavy misshapen pendant dangling before him. He paused. This was too important to do haphazardly, and there was a way he could take his time.

He made up his mind. It was risky, and if the Seelies in this dimension ever found out, there’d be hell to pay -- fortunately he wouldn’t be the Magnus paying it -- but he had to chance it. He dressed, found the right spell book in the bookcase and gathered the items he needed. Before he started he replaced the chain around his neck, the only place where the awful thing was safe. He cast a longing look at this Magnus’s bar, but he needed a clear head. He cast the spell and this dimension… stopped.

Not exactly literally, from what he understood. A drunken Seelie had once told him it was more like misaligning one dimension from the others, causing it to slow so much that it was as good as stopped. The risk was that if it became too misaligned it would never go back to normal pace, and the misalignment would eventually ripple through the other dimensions. But Magnus was confident -- relatively confident -- that he would finish before that happened.

Now that time was on his side, as it were, he took off the necklace and thought long and hard about what to do with it. A series of spells on it, of course. Those completed, a complex set of wards around it to create a puzzle with plenty of built-in fail-safes. Now he needed something to cover it in, give it a harmless and worthless appearance. 

Magnus smirked. He knew just the thing. He went to spare bedroom, gingerly picked up Jace’s tee shirt from the floor and wrapped it around the necklace. Now it looked like a piece of Mundane garbage, and not the remains of what had been left of his dimension’s Mortal Cup.

Satisfied with its wrappings, magical and otherwise, Magnus considered where to put it. Leaving it in his lair was too dangerous. Magnus knew himself too well. The version of himself living here would eventually find it and be intrigued by it and would be intent on cracking its wards. 

With this dimension misaligned, he could waltz into the Institute and leave it there in some deep and long forgotten vault, but no way was he going to entrust it with Shadowhunters. It was their fault the damn thing existed in the first place, and their bungling that had led to Valentine stealing it.

The best place for it, he decided with some misgivings, was with the Mundanes. He took it outside and walked among the living statues, because he couldn’t risk creating any portals during the misalignment. He also couldn’t magick appropriate outerwear for himself, he realized unhappily as he reached the perimeter of the largest garbage dump in the tri-state area. Eyes watering from the stench, he found the nearest place that seemed like a good hiding hole and dropped the necklace into the waste and rubbish. 

“May you be lost forever,” he muttered to it, and quickly left to begin the long walk home, feeling queasy and unclean.

It was night by the time he returned to his lair. He attempted to take a shower but the misalignment prevented the water from running. Magnus sighed in exhaustion and disgust and broke the spell.

The backlash sent him spinning dizzily, rolling and tumbling until he landed on his bed as if he had been unceremoniously dropped there. The force of his landing awakened Alec, who was, oddly, wearing an old tee shirt and pajama bottoms.

“Magnus?” he said, giving Magnus a close and curious look.

Magnus wrinkled his nose. He could still smell the garbage dump. He got out of bed and hurried to the shower. Only good old fashioned hot water and soap was going to help. Clean and refreshed he dressed and went for the drinks cabinet to pour a good stiff one. 

He paused in opening the inlaid wood door. This cabinet hadn’t existed in the other dimension. He glanced down at the labyrinth ring and noticed that the stone was no longer glowing. In breaking the alignment spell he must have triggered an interdimensional portal home. Unexpected but not impossible.

Alec followed him into the living room and as if on cue said, “You’re back, aren’t you?”

“You noticed I was gone? How charming.” Magnus turned his attention to the generous drink he poured himself, then poured an equally generous one for Alec.

Alec refused the drink. Magnus shrugged and sat down and took a long restorative sip. Alec stood and watched him, looking rather ridiculous in plaid pajama bottoms and a decrepit black tee shirt. 

And also looking calm and serious and stubborn and above all, _honest_. 

Oh, dear. Oh, no.

Magnus shut his eyes and took a large burning swallow of whiskey. After everything he’d done in the other dimension, he was not ready for this. 

“Magnus,” Alec said evenly. No hint of anger, no sneering. Perhaps a trace of concern? Damn.

Magnus kept his eyes closed and huffed out a dramatic sigh, leaning back in the chair. “Oh, my dear, I am just too tired this morning. I simply cannot. But come back tonight, hmm? I’ll stop by the club first, pick up some gorgeous Mundanes, and we’ll have some real fun, I promise.”

There was a long silence before Alec said, “Okay. I guess that’s it.” He sounded resigned, disappointed. “If anything ever changes,” he continued, “you know how to reach me.”

Magnus made his mistake: he opened his eyes. There before him was Alec: that same breathtaking beauty and dangerous rawness, but now with a centeredness, a strength about him that made Magnus’s heart skip a beat.

Something had happened here while he was gone. Something frightening and perhaps wonderful.

“Alexander.”

Alec met his gaze with confidence, not pain or shame. Magnus felt his world crumbling, his walls, his protections, his imaginary wards. What was happening here? What was he doing?

He set his whiskey aside and said slowly, unable to believe he could say the words aloud, “Alexander, please stay, and we’ll talk.”

Alec sat down on the ox blood red leather sofa and faced him. “Yes, we need to.”

(the end)


End file.
